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It’s official; stay at home dads do not exist

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I hate when people have negative things to say, because I don't have negative things to say over what they choose to do. For the most part, all of my friends are supportive of all of our friends choices -- work, stay home, whatever it may be -- but I do have one friend who is a teacher and is always hounding me about "don't you want nice things? What a lovely post to read.

I totally admire all stay at home mums! Being around children all day is hard! I Had to return to work, And sometimes I'm grateful sometimes I hate it. However the last answer really made me happy. Neo has been so close to me his whole life that when I first dropped him off to nursery he screamed and screamed. Its nice to know that maybe its because our bond is so good that he's really happy with me and that's why he cried.

Man do I love that boy!! Anyway thanks for this lovely post xxx. I know that when I have kids in the future I want to be a stay at home mum. I'm a stay at home mommy too. Before that I became a mom I was a workaholic and always had a job. But when I became pregnant I felt the same way you do. I am fortunate that my husband provides just fine and we never go without It also gave me drive and time to start my own photography career which would have never happened had I not been home to dedicate the hours to get it started.

Now I work from home on my own agenda and make a fine living doing two of the things I love. I think that if you have passions and once your baby is older, then go for them. So many people I know make great livings on their blog and to me that is great Good for you for being bold and saying this IS a job too: I'm a huge fan of your blog. Its really important to do what works and feels good for you. Alice is growing so quickly, and its amazing to be there everyday to see it. I wish I was a stay-at-home mum.

I always worry that Wilbo, unlike Alice, won't miss me. But we only just started to reach the stranger anxiety stage and I worry that, one day, I'll become the stranger Staying at home with him was never an option for me - we wouldn't survive on Ste's wage and that's just life.

I think anyone that asks those questions are likely idiots. I get asked awful questions by stay-at-home mums, believe it or not, and it's just defensive confusion most of the time. You are a great mummy and you don't need to doubt it.

I stay at home too and did a post about this - http: It is sad really that leaving a baby at home and returning to work has become the norm! In the past every family survived on a single income but the world today is too money-hungry! I think it is so important for a child's development that they spend as much time as possible with their mum or their dad! I was very keen to ensure I was getting my facts straight on this point.

I asked the boffins at the ONS to proof read the following sentence:. The ONS has been crystal clear with me, it does not collect or classify data relating specifically to stay at home mums or dads. There is also no official figure for the number of stay at home mums a rare case of equality in parenting??

Is a work at home parent a stay at home parent? How do you class step-parents? In some form or other, it should be possible for the ONS to create a classification or classifications for stay at home mums and dads. Even so, I can see that it would be a monumental task fraught with complications.

By default, this means there is no official definition for this role. Perhaps you make a little money blogging? Maybe you have a small cake decorating business? You possibly do a few hours of paid work in a local charity shop on a Saturday, the primary motivation being to socialise with adults and let dad or maybe even mum spend some time with the kids?

If so, you will appear in a completely different set of data. A mum or dad might do a few hours of paid work in a charity shop on a Saturday.

There is no concrete data about stay at home dads or indeed mums. As mentioned above, I also spoke to the Fatherhood Institute. I also spoke to a contanct or two in the world of academia. It seems the ONS data is the best we have. Let us also not forget gay adoption and marriage are a reality. The numbers may be small, but gay couples are raising children and that means an inevitable increase in men fulfilling childcare roles. In the United States, the Pew Research centre has concluded the number of stay at home fathers has doubled since and stands at around two million today.

Where the US goes, the UK tends to follow. Research partnership Modern Fatherhood has undertaken studies concluding the traditional family set-up with dad as the breadwinner is becoming ever more fluid. Although fathers tend to work slightly longer hours, men are, overall, working fewer hours than has historically been the case. Within couple households, there has been a convergence between parents in the amount of paid work that they do.

Fathers are also working less intensively and are more likely to be around in the evenings and at weekends as the number working non-standard hours has fallen. This is a very long-winded way of saying that men are increasingly available at home and able to get involved in family life. Only a small number may give up careers to look after the kids full-time, but most men are in a position to be more hands on.

The CBI had already spotted this trend. As part of its ongoing Great Business Debate campaign, it has called on employers to do more to offer employees flexible working. The first point to conclude is that I failed. I did not manage to find a figure from a trusted source about the number of stay at home dads in the UK.

The ONS is clearly in an awkward position, but it strikes me research is desperately needed into the number of stay at home dads and mums. Having found out that no official data is held for either group, it begs the question as to what basis the Government makes decisions when providing parent-focused services? For the prviate sector, all the evidence shows men are becoming more and more involved with their children and family life. Albeit in small numbers, it seems men are increasingly giving up careers to fulfil the main childcare role.

Even so, this trend is frequently ignored and parent, child and family products are all too often marketed at mums. There could also be an absolutely ginormous army of stay at home dads who go completely under the radar.

They may be economically inactive, or they may be active, baking the odd cake or blogging for small sums of money. Finally, and probably most importantly, just make sure you treat the excitable right-leaning media with the suspicion it deserves.

Reproduced under Creative Commons agreement link above. Policy is frequently made in the face of what data there is. A very fair point, both the left and right can mis-interpret data to their own ends and I thank you for commenting. This is so interesting. I never realised that there was so little concrete data on stay at home parents but agree that this would be very difficult to define.

I work from home and fit round the children, school run, activity clubs and all the other elements of family life a stay at home parent has to consider. In truth I suspect the population of economically inactive stay at home parents must be tiny becasue the majority are active to a greater or lesser degree. The absence of data is an issue as it would provide the basis for lobbying on policy changes where needed.

Having had members of the family who are carers for elderly parents, the role of care-giver can be overlooked in its many guises. Thanks for your kind words Dan. Yes, I can well imagine Mr Osbourne and his chums tracking down all carers…quite possibly with the intention of getting htem to complete a tax return!

They always find a way to make some money. Must be in the alpha male gene. That said, how many women are carers as defined by the ONS?

Mis-classification must be rife as most women undertake some form of economic activity, even if it is just small amounts cash in hand.

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